You will not believe the interview I had will Coach Chuck this past week.

After reading this interview you will absolutely…….. well, you be the judge.

[Interviewer] Today I am interviewing coach Chuck Ulysses Farley head coach of the 11-14 year old team from Sasquatch Utah.

[Coach] Oh you don’t have to say Ulysses you can just say “U”.

[Interviewer] Ok, so that would be coach Chuck U. Farley, have I got it right now.

[Coach] You got it. By the way I am the interim head coach. The official head coach was asked to resign because of smoking during practice.

[Interviewer] I guess that wasn’t a good thing to do was it.

[Coach] You are right, that’s why I only chew during practice.

[Interviewer] You chew during practice?

[Coach] That’s right chew, as in chewing tobacco.

[Interviewer] Ok…….

[Coach] I try to spit when they aint lookin.

[Interviewer] Lets move on to how you set up your practices. Do you do anything special during practice?

[Coach] Well I am glad you asked that question. Being an X Drill Sargent I have a few tips for the other coaches to whip their boys into shape.

[Interviewer] Everyone is anxious to here some tips from a Drill Sargent

[Coach] I know they are so here is my #1 tip. The first three days since we cant wear equipment are the days I separate the men from the boys so to speak. However I make sure they warm up properly, jumping jacks, knee highs, push ups, sit ups, 6 inches etc. I wont go over everything because it will make the article to long.

[Interviewer] Thanks

[Coach] No problem. Then after they are broken in I make them all do a two mile timed run.

[Interviewer] Hold on, a two mile timed run the first day?

[Coach] That’s correct, remember I want to separate the men from the boys. They get to chokin and pukin while running, its a site.

[Interviewer] What about safety?

[Coach] You are right to bring up safety. Being an X Drill Sargent I recognize heat stroke when it happens. I just douse em with plenty of water and put em with the rest of the No Go’s.

[Interviewer] No Go’s?

[Coach] Yea, you know, Nixon Girls, No Go”s. The ones that cant hack it, I put them all together in the shade.

[Interviewer] You’re kidding right?

[Coach] Nope, weeds them right out. Why the first week of practice I started with 29 boys and now I am down to 15.

[Interviewer] Again, you’re kidding right?

[Coach] Not at all,  works every time.

[Interviewer] Well that concludes our interview with Coach Chuck U. Farley. I hope we all have learned something during this interview.

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